2005-07-15

'CFS Light'

I'm hoping that this fab 'good patch' I'm having is gonna be permanent this time...

Up until this fabby good patch that I'm experiencing now, I have been experiencing (more or less) constant symptoms. I say 'more or less' because I don't get them constantly per se, but instead, I get them at several points during the time I am up. I have found that symptoms usually 'ebb and flow' throughout the day.

Up until the past couple of weeks, my typical daily symptoms include nausea, headaches, ear ache, neck ache from swollen glands, blurry vision (& itchy eyes made worse by stupid eczema on eyelids), leg cramps, dizziness, short term memory probs, and the usual omnipresent exhaustion/weakness.

Oh and the colds - although these aren't as bad as before my nutritionist 'pepped me up' with all those supplements. The colds tend to crop up whenever I've exerted myself physically, or get really stressed. Sometimes the cold will manifest itself that day, and sometimes it will manifest itself approximately 3 days later.

Prior to this 'good patch', I have had been much worse these last few months, than any other time I think... not even being able to go out even with a walking stick most weeks - and staying in for weeks on end. Not being able to wash my hair myself or grip a hair brush well enough to brush my hair...

It really got to me. I was starting to ask myself if I was just going to get worse and worse. Why was I getting worse and not getting better?

But in these last two and a half weeks, I've managed to go out five times!

Ok it was with my trusty walking stick, and I only had a few paces to walk, but in my eyes, it's a bloomin miracle! Hurrah!

But what has brought this on, I wonder?

Why am I feeling so much better?

I could put it down to the sun. But it was sunny earlier in May and I wasn't any better then - actually I think I might have been worse...

So I have no idea what's brought this good patch on - I wish I did.

In these past two and a half weeks, I also haven't experienced the ME/CFS/PVFS symptoms as constantly or as severely as I usually do.

In these past two weeks or so, I've had itchy eyes, and blurry vision - but to a lesser degree and not consistently.

Although it's still there, the dizziness is better.

And regarding the exhaustion/tiredness & weakness I would 'normally' experience - I'd say the feeling is more leaning towards 'tired and fatigued' (as opposed to the 'totally weak and exhausted feeling' that I tend to get when I feel worse).

I also got up today and didn't feel that ill after my sleep.

But then maybe I shouldn't speak too soon. For me, the truth always shows itself 3 days after physical exertion/stress etc. so I guess I should wait until Saturday!

Having said that, this 'feeling better' thing unfortunately, isn't ongoing. In the past two weeks or so, I have felt quite ill after I've gone out (short local trips - nothing major) - but the 'flares' were less severe versions of the usual symptoms I get (colds, the swollen glands/sore throat, ear ache, headache, fatigue etc.).

It just didn't seem as bad as usual - and the symptoms subsided a lot within 2 or 3 days.

So I think at the moment, I'm experiencing 'CFS Light'...

Well comparatively speaking anyway. I guess, compared to 'less-affected' sufferers, I'm still not great. But compared to how I usually am, it's definitely CFS Light!

CFS Light is amazing - so nice!

But I am very aware of not overdoing it - I'm still shaky with the old walking stick and stuff, which brings me back into reality.

I know it's stupid to think it's permanent. I seem to think it every time it happens - such a rare and wonderful feeling. But it's nice to hope. I would hate to go back to the state I was in, prior to this good patch...

I just wish I could send you all some CFS Light too... :(

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