2005-07-07

switch on :: switch off

What an emotionally draining day.

First, the world learns that terrorist attacks have been made on London, on the day that the G8 meet in Scotland's Gleneagles. The TV is flooded with scenes of fear, devastation, shock and carnage.

Those poor people...

I then switch the TV off. No more. I just can't watch anymore...

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I have many things on my mind at the moment. All stemming from the book I have been reading. Probably the reverse therapy reviews I have been editing and coding for sleepydust.net have also had an effect.

All those years ago, I went through an emotionally challenging and ultra-stressful time just before and during the redevelopment of my most recent and severe relapse of Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome.

The reverse therapy reviews sparked off a train of thought...

The idea that my hypothalamus gland (the gland that tells your body to get into 'fight or flight' mode) might have been switched on because of all these highly stressful events at that time - but that never got switched off...

... is drudging up some painful memories I'd prefer to forget.

Ofcourse, we never forget.

Have I been trying to forget it all?

Even though I know that the past never gets buried deep enough? The psychology, self help, spiritual, and metaphysical books I have read and studied - has the knowledge I have gleaned all fallen by the wayside?

Did I really 'deal with it', or have I just tried to 'continue' - to soldier bravely on and ignore that terrible year, where everything went so devastatingly wrong for both myself, and those around me?

I have been trying to get on with life.... but have I really?

7 || 8