2005-03-08

short term memory loss and brain fog

Here is a recent forum post I made about how I regard and deal with my short-term memory loss and brain fog (both of which can be symptoms of CFS/ME/PVFS):

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If you could see my desk and see how many 'notes to self' I have!!!

I can't remember what I am going to do unless I write it down. Say I see something on the computer screen - unless I'm completely 'on the ball' (extremely rare lol), I'll forget what I've seen within seconds unless it's written down somewhere. Hence my huge pile of 'notes to self' lol

That's the great thing about the internet/emails/forums - you can re-read what you were doing/writing etc.

Now take the phone conversation I had the other day - what a completely embarrassing fiasco. Right in the middle of the conversation, there I was in mid-sentence and whammo - completely gone - forgot what I was saying, going to say...

I don't speak much on the phone because I'm just too tired and not coherent enough most of the time, so thankfully I don't find myself in that predicament often but on the occasions I do, it happens an awful lot.

'Short term memory' and 'brain fog' certainly can be barriers. Personally, I have had to learn to be patient with myself.

You know, often there are days where I can't spend any time at all on sleepydust.net. Some days I'm so exhausted, ill and weak, and sleep for so long that I'm only up for an hour or two. Often (most days) I can't even watch tv because of visual and auditory overload. And that does make me mad, and I do have to learn to be even more patient with myself.

If there was a coherence scale then I'd say most of the time, I can't read text back and understand what I've just read, or at least find it extremely taxing. But I just focus on the times when I can - even if it's just a few minutes.

I guess that's what I focus on - what I can do - no matter how little it may seem. I bank on the premise that little tiny steps contribute to one big step in the long run.

It might not be nearly as much as I could do if I was well, but I just maximise the times when I do have a moment of clarity, so to speak.

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